Back up and going

Wow, it has been like 10 months since I have posted on this thing. I recently decide, in fact about a minute ago, that I want to try to start posting regularly again. The reason for that is primarily for me. I believe that this is a good creative and expressive outlet for me to use.

I going to use this either to post random musings, things that I am learning or things that God is saying to me. I hope that you enjoy.

A call to Prayer

America just celebrated the one year anniversary of our first black president. As always, Americans find it to be our duty to provide a yearly assessment of his time in office. The results for Obama seemed mixed. I want to do something a little different for this blog today. I want to give an assessment of the American populace instead.

I would like to start by laying down a little groundwork of my personal convictions are guiding the rest of this post. By the way, if you don't agree, please know that I don't profess to have everything right but I am seeking the right response to these issues. First, I believe that Obama and his administration care about this country. Second, I think he is imperfect just as everyone who has ever been brave enough to try and run this country. Third, my views on our response in no way convey my support or opposition to his administration or his policies. Fourth, while I am a "citizen of heaven" I am every bit called to this country and will serve it as long as the Lord has me here.

Throughout the Bible, God has called us to be ambassadors to this world and to those who don't particularly glorify Him. In the Old Testament you can read the stories of Joseph, Daniel and Nehemiah. All who served those who conquered and oppressed the Israelites. Yet they were called to serve their conquerers and did so with all their heart and with humility. In the New Testament, Jesus infuriated the pharisees by claiming that a Centurion had more faith than anyone He had seen. Paul told us to obey authorities and most of all to pray for those in authority. Has also said that they only rule by God's allowing.

We seem to have lost sight of that over the years. Instead many of us have been led to believe that our primary role in this country is to judge and whine and complain. This shift in views and action have had a profound impact on this nation. I believe that the things that we aren't quite satisfied with when it comes to the current administration is more a result of our lack of prayers than anything else. We rally together on the National Day of Prayer and lift our government up but tear it town the other 364 days. The solution is short and simple, We need to pray and we need to pray hard and often. It will be incredible to see what God does when this happens.

Quarter Life Crisis??

At the end of last school year (even though I graduated over two years ago I still operate on semesters), my roommate decided to put off getting a job for a while and go do YWAM. This decision was a result of what he called a quarter life crises. I admire him for that decision and while I wasn't called to take that step I feel like I am going through a quarter life crisis of my own.

Let me lay it out for you.

While I am aware that I am a child of God's, I constantly wrestle with who I am. There are moments that I am painfully aware of my awkwardness. Other times, I might be just as awkward but blissfully unaware. Sometimes I converse with people and leave feeling somewhat wise, only to move into a new conversation and realize that I am still just a child. I have tons of learning to do.

While I know the dreams that are in my heart are from God, I rarely trust in Him to bring them to pass. There are days that I am honestly overwhelmed by the fact that for the most part they are still just dreams. Out of this tension has birthed what can be described as "what the heck am I doing here?" moments. I have tried to run from them and yet they only grow. This is not a bad thing by the way, but nonetheless not an easy thing.

While I know that God created me for intimacy with Him and I long for it, I am not as deep as I want to be. I wake up some mornings and ask what have I been doing all this time? I would foolishly assume that I should know everything about an infinite God. Not only would I know everything about Him, but I would know Him intimately. Like Paul did or John did. Not only do I not know much about Him, I oftentimes feel I barely know Him.

While intellectually I know that we were created for deep community with others, I seem to only get glimpses of it. Only moments where I sit there and think wow this is amazing. Those moments often feel few and far between. Yet, sometimes when real community stares me in the face, I choose to read a book about it instead. That can feel less messy.

I was driving home the other night and all this hit me in the face at once. This happens occasionally. In the middle of it something happened that usually does. Yet my short-term memory usually doesn't seem to retain this. Or perhaps it does and yet the reality of it still needs to sink into my heart. It was in this moment driving home, thoughts speeding through my head, emotions going on overload, the fear of my body shutting down in order to cope with these one at a time, that a voice crashed through it all. Even though it was a gentle whisper it packed a punch. A blow stronger than anything I had just been feeling. The voice and Gods' and the words were questions. "Bryan, do you trust me? Do you love me? Will you receive my love for you? Will you walk with me? Do you believe that I placed these things in your heart? Do you believe that I will bring them to pass? Do you have faith?" They weren't asked condescendingly or rebukefully, but rather honestly, raw and full of love, compassion and wisdom.

In that moment things changed. One I had renewed energy and I felt excited rather than overwhelmed. Two, the manifest solutions hadn't come, but THE solution, who was there the whole time, manifested Himself. Three, rather than asking me to give up my dreams, he reiterated that He was behind them and that I need to continue to pursue them. Only this time, He wanted to pursue them with me. That encounter solved nothing and everything at the same time. I am still walking and learning. But I am walking with Him and getting to know Him. And perhaps that's all that matters.

Living by Faith

In multiple states in the US, it is illegal to possess venomous snakes at religious gatherings. These laws arose out of a need to stop a dangerous practice that was taking a lot of lives. In Mark 16, Jesus says that believers would be bitten by poisonous snakes and not be harmed. Well a few churches decided to put God and man to the test and purposefully get themselves bitten by snakes. If you were alright then you had enough faith. If not, you died. A few too many people died while attempting this and it had to be outlawed.

I don't know about you but it sounds a little ridiculous to me. Now don't get me wrong, I believe that God still miraculously saves people from snake bites. Thats not it question. What is in question is the fact that these people went around and obtained poisonous snakes and then got themselves bit just to see if it works.

While many people would say that that is little crazy and unwise, a lot of those people do it with their finances. They quote all the promises from the Bible about living by faith and having God take care of them, and yet never follow the financial principles laid out in the Bible. They believe that God doesn't justt work through the supernatural, He works through the spectacular. Don't get me wrong, he is spectacular, be the God I know works through the subtle and planned as well.

In the gospels there are a few instances of spectacular food multiplication. Twice in feeding thousands with bread and fish, and then a few times with casting the net on the other side. Jesus was in ministry 3 years and alive for 30 before that. I have to believe that for much of that time He simply obtained food and ate it. Perhaps it was so common that they felt they only needed to include a few instances, but I am not leaning that way.

My hope is that we have faith for financial miracles, but lets not get stuck in the thinking that that is the only way He works. God is working through sound principles. In conclusion, don't lose faith in the miraculous, but don't forfeit His principles in the process.

A Message to the church

In my recent reading there have been a lot of messages concerning the church and how it is failing. Many books are being written by, for and about people who love Jesus but not the church. Others make statements that if Jesus were to return he would have some pretty harsh words for the church. Still others relate churches to modern day pharisees and worse.

While I would deny all of those claims, I am writing for a different purpose. It is my understanding that the church is the Bride of Jesus and He isn't planning of giving up on her. At the same time He is purifying her.

With that in mind I was driving the other day and the thought came into my head, what does Jesus have to say about the church? So I asked. And what He said was powerful and I will share it with you real quick.

Jesus responded by saying to me that He has more for the church. He is fighting and interceding for the church. He has great plans for us to share with Him as He courts us into eternity. He recognizes that we are not perfect and that should He come with judgement there will be some scary things but all of that is meant to bring us into fullness. Fullness in God cannot be acheived alone.

I suggest that we all repent for our sins and thoughts about the church (Christs Bride) and continue to ask Him about that fullness. And then we continue to walk with Him and each other towards that.

A legacy

This morning I went to a memorial celebration service for a friends father. I had met this man a few times and had good conversations but that wasn't the only reason I went. I attended this service to to honor this man and the impact that he had indirectly on my life. Many of the people that I am close to were mentored and shaped by this man. The service was interesting and good (if you can say that about a memorial service). He was not old and his death was totally unexpected if not untimely. But the service was bitersweet. There was lots of crying and there will be mourning for sure, but the service was about remembering his incredible life and the fact that he was with God now.

Throughout the service many people came up to the front and told of his impact on them. He would spend hours praying with them, helping them, encouraging them listening to them and walking alongside them. He made many of these people his family. Each one of these testimonies were from people I didn't know but they matched everything I had heard from my close friends. Many of my close friends actually couldn't be there today because they are overseas doing missions work. I couldn't help but think about how he was part of the reason they were over there in the first place.

While I was sitting there celebrating the life while mourning the loss of this hero of the faith, it renewed my resolve to live like he did. He may have died at an age they people may feel was young, he lived life to the full. Its not the quantity of time but rather the quality of the time that we spend here.

His transition may be hard on us down here, but for him it was minor. He lived with Christ here and graduated to the next phase of that. He still lives with Christ (only now he gets to see him face to face).

His life was lived for others and his legacy truly truly lives on. That is said at many memorials but his life was saturated with this legacy. I know this because people talked about it before his death. If you knew this guy and his name came up, you would immediately have to interject the impact he had on your life into the conversation.

Those are just three principles that I learned and reaffirmed my commitment to today. This mans life was more than a few principles though. So much more. Lord, thank you for loaning him to us for a couple decades. We were richly blessed by your gift.

There is no formula

Growing up I was always better at math than other subjects. While math was abstract, it was also formulaic. In both High School and College I took accounting classes and excelled in them. Accounting is largely based on formula. For example, one of the foundations of accounting is

Assets= Liabilities + Equity

It's easy to get caught up in formulas. We somehow think that if we just follow these seven steps whatever we are doing will work. Then reality comes crashing in and causes our formula to evaporate. One church recommends this in order to grow. Another church says such and such is a better way. Still another says that church growth isn't even what we should be going after. Churches will chase practice after practice and get frustrated at their lack of success. "But it worked for so and so," the argument goes. Their church grew to 6,000.

But, they never discover who they are supposed to be. That strategy or formula didn't work because that is not who they are. There is something very healthy in knowing what other churches are finding successful or unsuccessful and were not meant to contain all in wisdom in the world in our little bubble, but we still need to learn in the context of what that means for us. Maybe we employ something but we change some of the variable in the formula. Maybe that strategy doesn't work with our demographic.

I am not saying that we don't glean from one another. I am saying, however, that more important than learning what Pastor Johnny Megachurch is doing, we need to learn what we are supposed to do. And that comes from a multitude of sources.